MARCH, a conclusion.

march made me tired— but the end held the finish line for an old routine. i quit one of my jobs, went to maine with some friends, and geared up for something new. in a way march felt like more of the same. i’d hoped for creative excitement, but that isn’t quite what i got. the time changed, the sun came out, and i felt a little more like me again.

i also decided that march is my last month taking “a photo a day.” this project has meant so much to me, and has been more consistent than anything else in my life this last year and eight months. these days i’m testing more cameras and film stocks, shooting for some clients, and also starting to develop film myself. i don’t want to take a photo a day. i want to take as many photos as i want to! i’m bending my own rules and it feels good.

here’s to continual reflection, in whatever shape it takes next!

-L

FEBRUARY

“get rid of death. celebrate increase. make it be spring.”

those words were written by margaret atwood; they’re from her poem “February”. it’s about the yearning, being almost out of the leafless woods of winter. i’ve thought of this snippet every february since i knew of its existence— only this year i didn’t and i don’t know why. it wasn’t that i didn’t experience loneliness or seasonal depression, because i did. maybe to a larger degree than normal. but those feelings got me to write more and that’s what i wanted.

february also had these intense highs— singing karaoke for the first time ever, dancing to the 1975 in a half-empty room and walking home in the cold, copeland on valentines day, the potential promise of a new job i care about, the feeling of warmth that comes from being unexpectedly noticed, singing every word at a pinegrove show.

i saw a lot of cardinals in february, and i took a lot of photos. i don’t want to forget it. i don’t want to forget anything.

L

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SHOT ON: canon sure shot 65zoom, with portra 800.

JANUARY

i like new year’s. scratch that, i love new year’s. it gives me energy to go after the things i want. this month felt like a big celebration, a marked change in myself. i spent so much time dancing. i was reminded i am worth a second thought, a second read. i stayed out late and spent time with people i care about. i had my last counseling session and it felt good to end something nobly. i celebrated birthdays, went through a katy perry phase, and went to an estate sale every week. i think i experienced every emotion in january, and that’s all i ever hope for. 

L

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SHOT ON: leica mini, my christmas present. with kodak portra 400.

DECEMBER

december flew by, as it tends to every year. it was altogether better than november; the sun came out on the first day and the world felt new again. i went back to south carolina twice, i caught up with some old friends and said goodbye to others. i started sleeping in again. i alsoi started taking walks everyday i could, and i feel more attentive and grounded because of it. i listened to more and more early 2000s punk— it’s truly not a phase. the last day of december is one of the best i’ve had in years. ushering in 2019 has felt like the good kind of refresh button already. i’m glad, if anything’s stayed with me, it’s shooting these rolls of film every month. i can’t shut up about this project and how much it’s meant to me. as it should be!

xo

L

SHOT ON: fuji pro max 400 on a nikon nice touch 3 i found at an antique store down the street from my apt.

NOVEMBER

it’s funny i chose to shoot a roll of b&w for november. i’m not sure if it was coincidence or determinism, but november felt grey. the cold weather settled in and i started to feel unmotivated. seasonal affective disorder is real! but there were good songs and good friends. i saw a handful of dream shows (pale waves, boygenius, gregory alan isakov), and all in the world felt right for the three days i spent in nyc. on the last day of the month i went on a long walk and danced all the way home, one11twenty in my ears— i want more days like that, and i feel sure they’ve already come.

xo

L

SHOT ON: lomo lady grey + an old pentax i found at an antique store in Goodlettsville. i had to tape the batteries in, so sometimes the flash didn’t go off. but i have a real appreciation for this camera.

OCTOBER

october was a whirlwind, and i suppose these photos show it. all 36 exposures got trapped in four frames. while they’re kind of cool, i wish i had all my individual shots: birthdays at bastion, jed’s book release, friday nights at dinos wasting time and making memories, 80 cent applebees cocktails, walks with friends and dogs and myself, breakfasts and dinners and wow october was better than i remember, seeing as i’m reflecting on it late. what’d i even listen to? october tooth, boygenius, american football. i started a new job and i quit writing so much. i don’t know what else to say except i want to eliminate all this pressure to succeed. it’s the last day of november now, so i won’t say much more until i get this next roll back. ‘til then.

L

SHOT ON: FUJI DISCOVERY, gifted to me by my friend Lauren.

SEPTEMBER

september was a balancing act— mostly of loneliness and belonging. i felt fall again for the first time in a year and it felt GOOD. everything seems better in a denim jacket. i tried to watch the sun go down more often, and it shows in these photos. there were bike rides and good shows, new friends and late nights, heavy conversations and piano serenades ’til 2am. september concluded with one of those really good nights where i slept in my jeans because i didn’t want it to end, soundtracked by pale waves and the cardigans.

these photos were taken on a lomography fish eye camera (pictured at the bottom), gifted to me by my friend elle for my birthday. it looks like a happy meal toy and apparently takes pretty grainy photos, but the way they turned out feels right— here’s to the beginnings of autumn magic.

xoxo

L

AUGUST

this is month one of year two of this project— it’s come to mean a lot to me. too much to quit after just a year. so i started to shoot another roll, quickly and aimlessly. over the month, i’ve had some time to think: i want to keep being excited about these photos. so from now on, i’m hoping to shoot each month on a different camera. lots of room for error, also room for potentially good surprises. 

anyway, august was more than words can say. change set in that i wasn’t prepared for. i released a book of my own that i still feel proud of. i settled into an apartment and learned to have preferences. i photographed people in “their” spaces— home or work or somewhere else special. i listened to more death cab, lovelytheband, kacey musgraves. in august, i started to feel like the work i’ve done to be and know myself has begun to pay off. i hope it continues to feel that way. until next month!

xoxo

L

SHOT ON: Vivitar PN2011. the first point + shoot i ever got; i found it at an estate sale in green hills for $5. i didn’t know anything about film cameras, but this one has been a good companion to me over this last year.