JULY I, II

well, we’ve made it. an entire year in film, give or take. july was supposed to be the grand coda of this project. a year of sticking to something i said i’d do and keeping it fun. so i decided to shoot two rolls for the last month. you know when a book is so good that you want to keep reading but you never want it to end? that’s the feeling i wanted to lean into. so there’s a “dessert roll” as my friend tyler called it. 

turns out two photos a day is harder than one. it was harder to focus on making good images when i knew i had to take two. and then, there were a lot of opportunities i missed because i was in the moment; i think i’m glad for that. 

july was a whirlwind of normalcy, unmet expectations, anger. real hope that my dreams (whatever they are) are in reach. turning 23, and feeling like a kid again at shows. it was growing up, dancing in public, and relearning the art of relaxation.

and like i said, july was meant to be the end. but one night my friend ellie said something so casually profound, convincing me to do this for another year without even trying to. so, this has been year 1. now onto year 2!

with my utmost gratitude, thank you for being here.

xo

L

ROLL 1

ROLL 2

JUNE

this month was unintentionally short. i used a roll of expired fuji in my other pentax camera in an effort to get excited about this project again, and forgot it was 24 exposures instead of 36.  i also forget how damn long this camera’s exposure is. hellloooo blurry and out of focus shots. admittedly not my favorite roll i've shot, with a few exceptions. 

ok enough camera talk; june was big for me! the book i’ve poured myself into became a reality. i acknowledged that i’m writing poems i am proud of, and i’m no longer afraid to say so. i dyed my hair blonde. i started going to bed early again. i listened to honne, churvches and middle kids. 

lastly, something i noticed: there were a few photos people made me be in, without holding the camera. usually i’ll leave my drink or my bag in my place, framing it in the photo to denote my presence. but i never really let anyone take hold of the camera before. it felt unnatural, but good to remember that i’m a key player in my own life. 

one month left of these photos— i’m proud to have stuck with something i said i’d do.

- L

MAY

this was month ten of daily photos and i started to get tired. things began to get in the way of me caring about this project the way i wanted to care. i started trying to implement more discipline into the way i spend my time. i recognized real growth in myself despite bouts of anxiety and avoidance. i shared more poems than i have before. unexpectedly i spent more time alone. there are things from this month worthy of celebration; there is also need for a reminder that it is both cool and WORTH IT to care. two more months left of these photos; i hope i’ll capture them well.

what i listened to: maggie rogers, tove styrke, courtship, now now. pop music is alive! and good! and important! 

- L

APRIL

february was a month of consistency. march held a seemingly endless creative spark. now april, funny enough, felt like a month of change. the change i speak of has a lot to do with the people in my life beginning and ending chapters; the rest of that change feels mostly inward, and it’s been both challenging and exciting, learning how to get reacquainted with myself. 

this month there were things i wanted i couldn’t have, and i felt the tension of it. i started writing more poems; nearly everyday. i let myself have fun, maybe more than i ever have. i saw a bunch of my heroes and friends play shows. i listened to: October Tooth and Hop Along, The Aces and Wallows. overall, i'm better because i lived the month of april and that's all i can really ask for.

- L

MARCH

this was my favorite month in recent history; anyone who’s had a conversation with me recently likely knows that. i started creating again: songs, poems, big ideas at 2am. i kind of started to like black coffee (!!), spent warm nights and days on porches with friends i love; i cried alone in a movie theatre, i treated myself to ‘dinner for one’, i decided to go through a late Death Cab phase. overall, i was more glad about life than i was last month. spring tends to have that sort of effect.

i had magical moments with several records: Little Image's "Musings" on a long ride home, Andy Shauf's "The Party" on a late-night grocery run, Soccer Mommy's "Clean" alone on my porch, Liza Anne's long-awaited "Fine, But Dying" sitting in the Whole Foods parking garage, of all places.

March ended on a saturday morning, a random gathering of friends at Dozen-- March ended with a deeper sense of gratefulness. these daily photos have really meant a lot to me. if anyone's followed along with my year in film, or been in front of my lens, i hope they've meant something to you too.

- L

i started using my old camera again; most of these turned out the way i hoped; some of them didn't. regardless, this is a roll i'm proud of. 

FEBRUARY

the month of the flash! i found another camera for $2 at a thrift store and decided to give it a chance. you can tell that i never quite got used to its subtle shutter (hence several completely out of focus shots), but also some of this camera's settings worked out in my favor: like i got to adequately document life at night for the first time during this project, and i feel ok about how a few of those shots turned out.

life-wise, this month was a weird one. saw more shows than usual, moved rooms in my house, got to feel the sun’s warmth (finally!) during bike rides and porch nights, finished a journal. there were a lot of days i felt oddly closed off, and listened to Hussey and Soccer Mommy over and over. on feb. 28, i jokingly said that i’d wake up happy on march 1— turns out, it was kind of true!

seven months into taking a photo a day, give or take, i'm starting to notice some consistencies. amidst all that's new, there's a repetition in who i spend time with, in where we choose to hang out. and it's not lost on me how rare and beautiful it is to have people and places that feel like home, when i let them. these photos are reminders that i don't have to fight the world alone- i don't think any of us do.

Margaret Atwood said it best: February- get rid of death. celebrate increase. make it be spring.

- L

JANUARY

january felt hopeful. it was walks and bike rides in the cold. it was reclining seats in movie theaters and twilight marathons. it was snow days and birthdays, and coming to terms with the ways i often fall short. it was sunday afternoons with Mary Oliver and the odd tension of stagnancy and dreaming big. it was Overcoats and Eisley, Copeland and towards the end, Harrison Whitford (it's a hell of a debut record, if you haven't heard it yet!).

i also started shooting with portra film, which was sometimes advantageous and sometimes not. always learning, i guess. 'til next time!

- L

p.s. briefly reviewed all the movies i saw this month below, if you'd like to read! **barely spoilers**

THREE(ish) SENTENCE MOVIE REVIEWS:

The Post: Definitely would've benefited from more historical knowledge about the Vietnam War. However, Meryl Streep was a boss-bitch and I internally applauded her character's strength and development.

Phantom Thread: Ok...there were some beautiful scenes. but i kept feeling like I was missing something, or waiting for something to happen that never did. I feel like it's similar to Pride and Prejudice; in the sense that it was artful and beautiful... i just didn't like it.

Call Me By Your Name: before seeing this, i'd heard reviews all over the spectrum. i left the theatre in awe of how much i loved this film. the dialogue was sparse for a 2+ hour movie, yet incredibly meaningful and thoughtful. the characters were complex and well-played. and the sufjan songs were nothing short of perfect.

Lady Bird: i saw this one twice- the first time i felt like i wasn't moved by it the way i expected to be. the second time, i felt the tension of Lady Bird and her mother's relationship with great depth. i felt all of it with great depth.

I, Tonya: this one felt like a punch in the gut. there was no hero, there was no resolution, yet i really loved the way the story was told. all of the interview scenes were well-tailored to each character.

Coco: the best pixar movie i've seen in awhile, though the ending made me inexplicably sad. i liked having insight into the tradition of Dia de Los Muertos.

Pitch Perfect 3: i went to see this on a day i didn't want to think hard about anything, and it was perfect for that (no pun intended). i laughed out loud multiple times. also i feel like anna kendrick and i might be friends in another life.

Molly's Game: i ended up seeing this because my first two choices were sold out, but i loved it. Jessica Chastain's character had confidence i feel like i could have at my best, so i was intrigued by her the whole time. it was a movie with substance that didn't make me sad, so i'd call that a win.

Wonder: anything that could possibly make you sad was included in this movie. yet it was extremely heartwarming, even for me. i liked how they show scenes from different perspectives, like you might read in a book.

DECEMBER

december felt both heavy and light; familiar things came to an end, moments were redeemed. it was falling in love with St. Vincent, and with Night Beds and Lorde all over again. it was time spent with friends i don't get to see often enough. sometimes it was feelings of helplessness and well-timed words. most notably, it was the month i started learning to play drums, making for a perpetual joy i wouldn't trade. 

every photo made it through development except for two, and for now we'll call that a win. five months in, and this project has become an integral part of my life.  i don't know how to adequately say thank you.

- L

NOVEMBER

november lingered. there were days i loved- many of them were spent traveling down the east coast with my friend, Jess. there were days i didn't love, but chose to take photos anyway. i listened to a lot of Lorde and Phoebe Bridgers. i ate a lot of soup from Dozen. 

there are unexplainable black borders on a lot of these shots, masking the top and bottom half of the photographs. and two dichotomous moments didn't make it through development: one was serendipitously running into a friend, Annie, in a crowded coffee shop. we got to talk about doubt when i needed it. the other was angstily taking out the trash with my friend, Lauren. both of these were healing in their own way, and i'm glad i've at least still got their memory. 

november was ushered in by a solo night with Bon Iver, and it was ushered out by seeing Julien Baker, surrounded by friends. in the end, i am glad for all of it.

- L

OCTOBER

october was one of the weirdest and most emotionally inconsistent months of life i've ever lived; the subsequent conversations i got to have are ones i'll remember. not pictured: played a lot of golf, wrote a lot of poems, and listened to a lot of dashboard confessional. pictured: people i've come to really care about, moments that matter, and places i keep coming back to. all of it's shaping me!

- L

p.s. point-and-shoot film is teaching me there's something to be said for making the most of what you have. if you've never done it, pick up a disposable! there's often value in grainy memories. 

SEPTEMBER

mid-august, i bought a point-and-shoot film camera at an estate sale, and it was quite possibly the best $5 i’ve ever spent. every photo that made it through development showed up with a line through the bottom, but i am oddly fond of it. this entire roll just made me smile really big!

september was a month where all that is hard and all that is good began to meld together. and today i am new and better because of the moments and people in these photos. 

’til next month!

xo,

L

AUGUST // intro

i wanted a way to more purposefully and genuinely document life. so i bought a kodak disposable and thus began a photo a day for a month. they didn't all turn out like i wanted them to, and a couple favorites didn't make it through development, but there's probably something poetic about that. all in all, i'm glad august 2017 is a month i got to live and photograph, with friends and alone, grainy and imperfectly.

born from a 2am idea, this is the beginning of a year in film: